John Siracusa

Siracusa Says

A fun collection of things John Siracusa has said on podcasts

Classified as a Munition

If you have a Mac Pro with some GPUs lying around, you may as well crack some passwords with it.

Podcast: Accidental Tech Podcast
Episode: 528: My Favorite Slap in the Face

JOHN: I locked myself out of a locked note. You know, the Apple Notes back before you could use your Apple ID to lock a note, you could put individual passwords on notes. And I had a note that I had put an individual password on that I had forgotten and hadn’t put it in keychain or anything like that.

JOHN: And so I used my dual GPUs to crack it, like brute force. To brute force crack my own password. And guess what? The fans really spun up on my Mac Pro. But I did crack it because it was a short throwaway password or whatever.

MARCO: How long did it take?

JOHN: I don’t know, like five minutes. I did not use a 15 character password. This is an argument for you to do the thing where, I don’t remember when they did that, it was ages ago, where they let you do the thing like, “Do you want to update your thing so your Apple ID and your face can unlock all your notes?” I eventually did that.

JOHN: And that’s just a silly example, but I could have also cracked it on an iPhone. I’m not pretending that I need a big GPU to do this but the same reason people don’t need a sports car because they’re not race car drivers they just like to have one even though you you know you can’t really use it without breaking the law.

JOHN: At least I’m not you know breaking the law with my Mac Pro here or whatever remember those ads when you could couldn’t you couldn’t export the g4 to to communist countries because it was like a restricted export


JOHN: I think Apple had an ad campaign about that

MARCO: Classified as a munition because it’s too good of a computer

It's Not Like We Don't Have Horses

Technology didn't kill horses, but there sure aren't many people making their living off them.

Podcast: Accidental Tech Podcast
Episode: 503: Draw Your Own Slice of Pizza

Anytime there’s any kind of technology that previously does something that could only be done by humans there is this battle saying that the new way to do it is soulless and bad and evil and is going to corrupt the youth and so on and so forth and then the other people who are excited about the tech and just want it to go forward.

And many times throughout history there has been a technology that has caused entire professions and entire industries to basically disappear or shrink to the point or transform in a way that’s you know, not even recognizable.

Witness the entire industry surrounding having horses pull things with people in them and the advent of the automobile. It’s not like we don’t have horses. Not like people don’t have jobs making saddles for horses and shoeing horses and taking care of horses all those jobs still exist. But boy, that industry looks a lot different than it did before the advent of the automobile. A lot different.

Step One, Be Handsome

It's easy to say the things to do to be Apple, it's another to do them.

Podcast: Hypercritical
Episode: 11: I Am the Steve Jobs of This Sandwich

JOHN: There are some lessons to be learned from what Apple does that maybe that will help you succeed in your business. But the things that help you more are the intangibles. You can’t copy those.

“Oh, I’ll just do what Apple does. Make really good products. Make the right decisions about what features to include and what features not to include. And figure out what people want before they even know that they’re going to want it themselves.”

That stuff, you can say it, but you can’t copy it. It’s in the same way that you can say, “Write your own infrastructure software just like Google does and make it awesome.”

“Yeah, how do I do that again?”

It’s tough to copy greatness. So whenever I see these things of like, “Do what Apple does and you will succeed,” half of that is true and then half of it is like the great instruction on how to avoid sexual harassment in the workplace.

Step one, be handsome.

Succeed like Apple.

Xcode's price is right

Xcode has files, somewhere between 5,000 and 1,000,000 of them.

Podcast: Accidental Tech Podcast
Episode: 521: Dance Compatible

John: Before he goes, I’ve got the number of files. Without cheating, you want to do Price is Right rules. What are your two guesses?

Marco: I’ll say a million.

Casey: Oh, come on now. $1.00. $1.00. $1.00.

John: You’re gonna go one, you’re gonna go one.

Casey: All kidding aside, if I were to, I know to do Price is Right rules, I would guess one file, but I think it’s something to the order of 5,000 to 7,000 files, so we’re in that neck of the woods.

John: So your guess is 5 to 7,000, Marco’s is one million. Do you wanna converse with each other to figure out why you’re this far apart and maybe think about which one of you is closer to right?

Later is a Lie!

Later is a lie! And so are other dialog box buttons.

Podcast: Accidental Tech Podcast
Episode: 511: Moving to Antarctica

Marco: Whenever I see a dialogue that says like, maybe later, when I just wanna say, no, I never wanna do this.

John: They changed it, they changed the button in an Xcode update to say like, yes, and like, I don’t know if it says yes, but whatever it says, it’s like the positive one, then the other one says dismiss, which at least is better than later, because later is a lie.

Later is like, but here’s the thing, you hit dismiss, right? You’re not saying later, you hit dismiss, but you’ll be seeing that dialogue again.

Who Doesn't Want to Scribble?

John can't scribble, and he wants to know why.

Podcast: Accidental Tech Podcast
Episode: 513: Scribble on the Shared Placemat

John: I’m just so angry that I can’t scribble. I’m unreasonably angry.

Casey: I can tell.

John: Like I don’t understand it. Who doesn’t want to scribble on the shared placemat, right? That’s the whole fun of it. And you guys are all having fun and doing your little messages with your handwriting, with your fingers or your Apple Pencil. And here I am, I can draw like, look, it’s a box, it’s a square. It’s just so terrible. It’s just, I don’t understand. I don’t understand why I’m being left out of the scribble party.

Casey: Because you insist on using a Mac and putting your iPad up near your bed.

When the HomePod Grows Up

Apple comes out of the HomePod wilderness to do what they did before.

Podcast: Accidental Tech Podcast
Episode: 518: Deconstructed iMac

It would be kind of cool if Apple eventually figured out where what the homepods are gonna be when it grows up. Right now what it is is the second generation of the exact product that they made before, it’s just they took a long vacation in between to like, I don’t know, think about stuff for a while.

Because if this had come out like a year after the home pod we’d be like, oh the next homepod is out and it’s better than the first one. And Marco probably wouldn’t even had time to have all of his fail but he just would have replaced them with the new one anyway.

But there was this weird time in the wilderness where they didn’t know what they were gonna do, and they came out of the wilderness and they said, “Let’s just do what we did before.”

I Wasn't a Mobster, But Some of My Relatives Probably Were

Mobster Nostalgia. It's a thing!

Podcast: Accidental Tech Podcast
Episode: 515: The Elder Programmer Look

I think it is a well executed version of what it is, but it is a nostalgia trip for people of a certain age. It is nostalgic for a time that is before my time, but it is my parents’ time. So I can relate to it in kind of the same way I can relate to Good Fellas. I wasn’t a mobster in the 70’s but some of my relatives probably were.

That's Plenty of Nines for You

You don't need 11 nines, you'd take 7 nines!

Podcast: Accidental Tech Podcast
Episode: 494: Ultra-Wideband Park Bench

If you want to save some money, you don’t need 11 nines of data durability for your things, I’m assuming you don’t. You’d take 7 nines probably! It’s plenty of nines for you. Some people don’t need any nines!

From Antarctica, with Linux

Using Linux on the desktop is like moving to Antarctica

Podcast: Accidental Tech Podcast
Episode: 511: Moving to Antarctica

Well who else uses this, and who else develops software for it, and so there is a network effect on platforms as well. And you mentioned like moving to another country, it’s like, well, if I don’t want to use Apple platforms and I don’t want to use Windows or Android, I’m going to use Linux on the desktop, but that’s like moving to Antarctica. I mean, it exists, and it’s a land mass, and you can go there and stand on it, but ewwww.